My hypothetical lawn chair
Nothing makes me forget that I'm leaving easier than having others move before me. The following situation has occurred several times now: I will be standing with one of my roommates as she chats with someone else (let's call them Friend 1) about her upcoming move. Friend 1 then cracks a joke about either forcing her to stay or teasingly pretends to guilt her into staying. I innocently laugh along and join in the fun. Friend 1 doesn't realize my blunder. But then my other roommate, the one whom I will be leaving, gives me a look and reminds me that yes, I am also one of Them--one of the ones moving away.
However, when I am counting months and my roommates are counting days, my perspective gets a little skewed. I feel like pulling out a hypothetical lawn chair and just basking in the time. This is not entirely an accurate representation of my reality, but without a sense of urgency the few lasts that happen slip by rather like a slow stream than a torrent of immediacy. To be honest, other than the logistical side of support raising and preparation, it seems odd to focus on my upcoming departure. There is still a lot I can do where I'm at now.
"without a sense of urgency the few lasts that happen slip by rather like a slow stream than a torrent of immediacy"
ReplyDeleteI liked this line, rather poetic.
I think I can relate to the feeling of always going and never staying. I tell a boy in my neighborhood that I have been doing a bible study with that we only get to have two years so we better use it well, instead of not using it at all.
No sense in mentally "leaving" before you leave. Enjoy each day.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I would much rather throw myself completely into the enjoyment of the location and people around me than be in a perpetual waiting zone.
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